We have just finished a wonderful weekend at Gullboth discussing marriage, divorce and remarriage. I had prepared a paper which I presented. After my presentation we had a lively and very good discussion. It was very interesting to listen to the various ways people argued for their view. Some argued from scriptual principles others seemed to be more pragmatic and some even traditionally dogmatic!

Marriage, divorce and remarriage

From the beginning of the history of man marriage has been God’s good arrangement for all mankind. Marriage is and has been the fundamental building block in a well-functioning society. Marriage, as every good thing, has its origin in God’s love, and it is the Creator’s norm for human coexistence.

God’s order is very simple: It is not good to be alone, for humans are made for faithful life together. The seventh commandment says: ‘You shall not commit adultery’ (Exodus 20, 15). You shall live faithfully with your spouse all your life, for God hates divorce (Malachi 2, 16). Jesus says that God has joined man and wife together in marriage and that nobody should destroy that unity (Matthew 19, 6).

From the beginning marriage was intended to be monogamous and for life. Husband and wife are bound to each other because of the covenant they have made until death separates them. When husband or wife dies the marriage is over and the surviving person may remarry.

The Bible gives four reasons for marriage:

1. Companionship

Marriage is basically a covenant of companionship and friendship (see Proverbs 2:17; Malachi 2:14). God introduced the marriage to solve the problem of loneliness (Genesis 2:18). Fellowship and friendship, to complement each other, develop and help each other are the basic content of marriage. Humans are social beings, created to have fellowship. It is not good for anyone to be alone. We need someone to complement us, a helper suitable to assist us. Man is created in the image of God; male and female. We are created to live in a relationship where we are committed to someone of the opposite sex. Together we can be a many-sided demonstration of the fellowship in The Triune Godhead and so express his good and manifold nature.

2. Multiplication

Marriage is the place of reproduction – multiplication – the fostering of the good citizen (Genesis 1, 28). The purpose of marriage is to bring forth future generations. The family framework provides a safe and good environment for children to grow up in and to develop as persons. Marriage – matrimony – family helps to create the right environment in which we learn to submit to authority and to act out of consideration for others. Here we learn to have respect for those placed above us at the same time as we learn to take care of others that need help.

3. Sanctification

The marriage partnership is the place to learn to control and use the basic human urges, e.g. the sexual drive, in a right manner (1 Thessalonians.4: 3-8; Genesis 2: 24). ‘To prevent sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband’ (1 Corinthians 7:2). Sexuality is an important aspect of human existence and God has given marriage where man and wife can enjoy the pleasures of sex in a secure and faithful relationship. Sexual intimacy is in a biblical context meant to be an expression of love that brings mutual joy and strengthens friendship. It is also a conformation of the covenant nature of marriage. Accordingly, sexual intimacy has this important function in addition to producing offspring for posterity.

Marriage is invented by God to enable two people to make one another holy, to influence each other to become more like Jesus Christ. It is the perfect place of putting the fruit of the Spirit to work. In marriage we influence each other towards holiness and maturity in character, attitude and actions.

4. Prophetic sign

Marriage is purposed by God to be a prophetic mystery – to mirror on earth the relationship between Christ and his church. Marriage is intended to be a prophetic sign, a visible expression of heaven on earth, among people who love each other, submit to each other, and care for each other like Christ cares for his church. Marriage should be a preview or foretaste of heaven! The home should be a heavenly colony on earth. When the New Testament speaks of marriage this prophetic dimension often figure most prominently in understanding the holy community between man and wife in marriage. The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. This is why a man should love his wife and lay down his life for her to bring forth her best and most beautiful sides, as Christ loved his church and gave himself for her to present her in glory. The unity and concord in marriage is a great mystery which reflects Christ’s relationship to his church.