Solveig and I have been busy writing a chapter in a book titled "30 happy years" lately. In the book couples that have been married for more than 30 years will tell their stories. I think it will be a very good book. The book will be published by a German publisher. We are running out of time as we are approaching the deadline for delivering the text to the publisher. If you are interested I will let you read a small part of what we have written. It has not been finished yet but will give you an idea of why we have enjoyed writing about our 40 years of happy marriage!

At our wedding ceremony the pastor gave us a word from the Bible that has been helpful for us and brought us much fun throughout our marriage. In the old fashion Norwegian version of Romans 12: that we used when we married the words went like this: “Compete to honour one another!” The pastor told us that this was the only competition that was allowed in the marriage; and that if we would practice it regularly we would succeed in our marriage life. I think he has been proven to be right!

In the beginning it was kind of a serious matter; to honour one another. As time past by we learnt to put a lot of fun into it as well! It could go something like this:

“You are so good at this!”

“Yes, but you are even better than me in this and many other things!”

“No! You are far the best in everything!”

“No, no, no! You are the best! If I had only been as half as good as you I would have been happy!”

“Oh, you are so nice! You are the best in saying nice things to me!”

“Oh no, you are the sweetest of all, your words are so kind. You are far, far better than me!”

As we have fun and continue to compete in saying nice things to each other, it is getting more and more out of proportions. We praise one another into the sky, making each other champions of the world, champions of the entire universe. When we have run out of superlatives one of us give up and we have a good laugh followed by a friendly hug or kiss.

Through this competition of exaggeration we have discovered the power of kind words and encouragement. I don’t think there has been a single day in our marriage without words of love and encouragement. Normally we will tell each other several times a day that we love each other! I am never getting tired of hearing Solveig saying nice things to me. I love it when she expresses her love to me in words and in every other way as well!

Often Solveig will prepare a lunch packet to me when I go to my office. Then she sometimes will put a piece of paper with words of love in between the sandwiches! When I am going away for some days or weeks to minister to covenant communities, she will put small paper hearts with words of love and encouragement in between my shirts and my underwear. They come as a very pleasant surprise every time! When I come home I will put these hearts on the door of my wardrobe. The first things I see when I rise in the morning are all these hearts of loving words. They are also the last thing I see before I go to sleep! From morning to evening and throughout the day I am constantly being encouraged by Solveig’s loving words and acts of kindness! I am serious when I say that I have the best wife in the world!

Sometimes she will even write a poem to me! I love it when she reads it out loud as she looks at me with stars in her beautiful eyes. Her face shines like an angel of God, she is radiant as the sun, and her lips drip of honey. These words she wrote to me at an ordinary day in May 1995:

Erling

I whisper your name

And I am thinking of

-love, warmth, nearness, peace,

-red roses,

-cautions caresses

-strong hugs

-wonderful words

I whisper your name

And I am thinking of

-the whistling of the forest

-the trickling of the brook

-the singing of the birds

-the buzzing of the mosquitoes

-a bed of moss and red whortleberry heather

-white hovering clouds

-dashes of the waves on the shore

-a rainbow stretching over a large blue sky

ERLING

I am saying your name loudly

And I am thinking of

-strength and respect

-willpower and ability

-faithfulness, honesty and truth

-labour and diligence

-patient endurance

I am thinking of

-a friend

-a person of character

-a man of integrity

-a man of God

But most of all I am thinking of

You are my dear husband!

(Text: Solveig Thu)

No wonder that I love being married to such an encourager! She always wins the honouring competition!